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Cell Phone Plants


  by Richard Pavlicek

Are you tired of losing?

Does the same pair beat you every time?
Hate to lose another knockout match?

Well, fret no more!

PavCo Wireless has the perfect solution with its new pPhone®!
Most tournaments enforce penalties for cell phone interruptions
and therein lies your solution to victory.

Plant a pPhone® by the chair of your rival

Did you miss winning the Club Championship by 6 matchpoints?
  No way! A full-board penalty makes you first.
Oh darn… You lost your first-round Vanderbilt match by 7 IMPs?
  No way! A 10-IMP penalty makes you the winner.
Integrated PavCo Stealthchip® feigns the identity of any cell account.
Just key in the number! Don’t know it? A built-in search will find it!

Free monogramming

Include your rival’s name (up to 14 letters) and it will be laser-engraved
for an added touch that makes denial of ownership laughable.

Free remote trigger

Just press the button when you see a Tournament Director
and voila — too bad for that pair! You win again!

But wait, there’s more

Are you one of those players who usually finish last? No problem!
Ask about our quantity discounts, then with a little ingenuity you
can mine every table but your own! Bingo — first place!

Free shipping!

Cell Phone PlantPrice
pPhone® model  800$69.95
pPhone® model 110099.95
pPhone® model 14301599.95

Check OutAdd to Cart

Another fine product from PavCo Craporation © 2009
where the price tag goes on before the engineering begins