Midnight, August 5, 2018: The U.S. Coast Guard attempts to board a PavCo transport vessel.
One of my cargo ships was spotted by the Coast Guard. When they radioed a command to board for inspection, my crew captain had no choice but to launch their dinghy and deep-six the entire ship. Estimated loss was $78 million in ivory and eagle feathers, but that’s only a drop in the bucket. At PavCo we don’t mind feeding the fish occasionally if necessary to avoid jail time.
As expected, the Feds could not press charges. When the Coast Guard seized the dinghy, my crew captain answered the interrogation with “What ship?” while humming The Good Ship Lollipop… so it’s back to business as usual. The incident even inspired a bridge puzzle.
Many contracts are deep-sixed by foul distribution, or would be with routine play. Imagine you are South on this layout:
You nearly fell out of your chair after West’s 3 bid, but at favorable vulnerability that’s pretty common, especially being short in spades. A takeout double by partner would have been sweet, but no-o-o-o, the fool bids his own stupid suit, leaving you little choice but to try the game in notrump. West wisely eschews his emaciated suit to lead the J, and there you are.
The routine play is to set up clubs, but this would almost surely fail on the auction. Barring miracles you would win four clubs, two hearts, one spade and one diamond. The realistic chance to succeed is to postpone leading clubs until West has nothing else left, then a ping-pong battle might produce a fifth club trick.
Look closely at the club spots. If you lead clubs first, West will grab his king and return the eight, eventually scoring the seven to deep-six your contract. Instead you need West to start clubs. His best thrust would be the 8, which you capture and lead middle clubs until West takes his king, then the forced club return allows your own “deep six” to land the contract.
Double-dummy defense early can foil you, but that’s no reason not to try: Duck the first heart; win the next; lead a diamond to the king, ace; win the heart return, Q and A. You’re almost home! Besides clubs, West has only one other card left, which you hope is the J. Exit with a diamond, and enjoy the volley. West will not.
In the club suit, South wins five tricks if West leads first, but only four tricks if South leads first. Suppose fewer club tricks are needed with the 2 alone as above. A three-part puzzle:
With a 6-6 suit division, what are the weakest South holdings to win…
1. Four tricks if West leads first, or three if South leads first?
2. Three tricks if West leads first, or two if South leads first?
3. Two tricks if West leads first, or one if South leads first?
Quit
*There was no multiple choice, so solvers had to construct their own holdings.
Congratulations to Tim Broeken, my all-time winningest solver. Tim’s rap sheet goes back over a decade and reads like a ‘broeken’ record: Yarborough Fair, The Bricks of Amenhotep, The Jackson Four, Valentine’s Hat Trick, Ruff-day the 13th, Fail Safe, Top of Nothing, Diamonds in Distress, Watson’s Play of the Hand — and I probably missed one.
Ranking is by the lowest rank sum of the three South holdings, most sixes used, and date-time of entry, in that order of priority.
The weakest holding to win four tricks if West leads, or three if South leads, has a rank sum of 51:
If West leads the nine, South wins the 10 and fires back low; West wins and returns a middle card to the queen, then South exits low to endplay West. One trick less if South leads first.
What’s with the puzzles and all the dumb pics?Does anyone care about the number of tricks?
The weakest holding to win three tricks if West leads, or two if South leads, has a rank sum of 44:
If West leads the king, South ducks, and again on the queen. South wins the next lead cheaply and exits with the seven to endplay West. One trick less if South leads first.
Seven years ago we solved Amehotep’s bricks.Now instead of thanks, we get the deep six.
The weakest holding to win two tricks if West leads, or one if South leads, has a rank sum of 38:
If West leads, South simply waits for a card he can beat, then exits low to eventually win a second trick. If South has to lead, West wins anything cheaply then exits low to endplay South.
District Attorney: PavCo Enterprises and its CEO are hereby indicted by the Federal Grand Jury on three counts of interstate trafficking. Mandatory appearance for a pre-trial hearing is set for 10:00 am, September 10, at the Federal Courthouse in Tallahassee. Passports have been revoked to minimize flight risk.
Yeah, right… I’m already in Brazil. Take a hike, you retards!
T-Mobile: PavCo Enterprises may have escaped the Feds, but winning this contest required three sixes. There is no escape from the devil, so your area code has been changed to 666.
© 2021 PavCo Global Enterprisesscrewing you before you can screw us
by Richard Pavlicek by Richard Pavlicek