On the following deal, with 33 HCP and no eight-card fit, East-West are likely to reach 6 NT. Alas, it cannot be made against best defense, even with the right guess in clubs. After a major-suit lead, declarer lacks the communication to win 12 tricks provided North takes the A at the best time. Obviously 6 or 6 has no chance either. The only slam makable against best defense is 6 .
Time out! Why do bridge writers always assume best defense?
In general, defense tends to be rather soft, so why not assume bad, or even ugly? A recent trip to Disney World inspired these thoughts, perhaps out of visions of Fantasyland. I hereby propose a new benchmark: Against worst defense. Not only will this improve declarer play but — to borrow from a travesty-elect — it could make America great again!
Heck, even North-South can make 6 against worst defense. Follow the play:
After merrily winning the first 12 tricks, declarer must concede the last to West’s long trump. I’m sure you’ll agree about the worst defense, and if nothing else it may cause you to reconsider the next time you feel partner defended like a moron. A piece of cake! North-South make 6 in a 3-3 fit with only 7 HCP, which brings me to the puzzle:
What is the fewest HCP required to make 6 against worst defense?
1. Before reading further, make your best guess:
For the contest, respondents were required to submit a deal to justify their answer. A further goal (tiebreaker) was to give North-South as few trumps (clubs) as possible, and to make their hands as weak as possible (judged by the sum of all card ranks).
Quit
Go figure: Up until this month my puzzles were based on best defense, and participation was modest. Now I throw in a puzzle where the defenders are total morons, and they come out of the woodwork. Methinks I’d better not pursue this, though it is a bit curious that Canada takes three of the four top spots.
Congratulations to Tom Slater, England, who was the first of only three to find the optimal solution, a North-South rank sum of only 149. Tom is a clever solver, rarely missing a leaderboard since winning Lilliputian Squeezes exactly two years ago, and usually in the Top 5 — a quick count shows three seconds, three thirds, two fourths and three fifths!
Let’s begin with a bidding lesson, which is probably the last thing you’d assume regarding this month’s theme. Nonetheless, I learned many years ago from Benny Hill never to assume — it makes an ass out of u and me — especially with our Canadian nut lady on the case:
Tina Denlee: Bizarre Auction Is Bridge Nightmare, Part II: After South opens 4 and West overcalls in hearts, East seeks additional information with 5 NT, but something bizarre happens on the way. How do you tell partner to lead a club against the upcoming heart slam? Bid ‘em, of course, and if 6 is doubled you retreat to spades — alas, South doesn’t see the double and misses the retreat clause. When the bidding is over, West thinks he is declarer and exchanges hands with East to see if the bidding was accurate. Oops! South calls the Director, and all 26 East-West cards become penalty cards. South demands a low heart lead and for East to pitch a spade.
Yes, I do believe this could happen at Tina’s table. The play is straightforward, an idiot’s delight:
South wins four red cards as East-West duck and pitch spades, then four spades as East-West pitch red cards. This leaves the following ending with South to lead:
When South leads a spade there are many paths home. One is for West to pitch his last heart, North to ruff with the 3, and East to underruff. Then the Q fetches the J-10, the 9 the 8-7, and the 6 the 5-4, so East-West win the last trick big-time.
Alternately, East-West could ruff simultaneously with A-K, either on South’s 6 lead (North pitches the diamond) or if North leads the 6. In short, a moron’s field day.
Nicholas Greer: The lunatic who sat South is clearly from your September puzzle and will be delighted to have kept a straight flush throughout the play, claiming the pot with five cards remaining.
Minimal Trump Proof
Even against worst defense, four trumps Q-9-6-3 is the absolute minimal holding to make a slam.The queen captures J-10, nine captures 8-7, six captures 5-4, and the three captures the deuce.The two remaining trumps (A-K) must be played together as the defenders’ only trick.
I liked the next construction from Dan Baker. Not only does it improve on Tina’s pip count by a point (from 152 to 151), but he manages to win all 12 tricks in the South hand. Style points for Texas!
Dan Baker: Not quite a Yarborough Fair, but I’ve applied the same approach, even letting South win all of his side’s tricks. North-South cannot have fewer than four trumps, else one defender has two more than them; and must have at least the queen, else one defender has two cards N-S can’t beat. West ducks two spades and East ducks two hearts (with the other pitching high diamonds), then South wins four diamonds as the defenders refuse to ruff. South now leads his last spade, West ruffs with the ace and East underruffs with the king; then both defenders duck four rounds of clubs (the 3 last since East cannot duck it until he’s out).
Wow. Not only do the above three solvers make my writeup easy, but I get free plugs as well. This could increase my web traffic threefold — and profits along with it! Let’s see… [grabs calculator]… three times nothing is… yep, my February puzzle.
Grant Peacock, Maryland, produced the same N-S pip count as Dan (151) but with an eye-catching South hand — call it the Ten-eight-six Trifecta. And he also offered a defensive bridge tip!
Grant Peacock: This hand is a perfect example of an important concept to understand on defense, throw-in avoidance. Any time it looks like you might be forced to win a trick, look for opportunities to jettison your high cards. Hang on to your low cards so you can duck a trick as needed. If you defend carefully, you can prevent the situation where you win a trick and have no choice but to lead another high card.
Whether this was intended as sage advice, or tongue-in-cheek, I’m not sure. But I often bid too much, so Grant will be a welcome opponent anytime to practice his jettison plays.
Foster Tom: Clearly East and West recently learned about the holdup play and were eager to try it out, until they realized their mistake and decided to play trumps from the top.
How low can you go? I’m convinced that 149 is the limit, as shown by the three top solvers. I liked the following construction by Lin Murong, Ontario, the best because he didn’t put all the N-S trumps in one hand. The ending comes down to a crossruff, albeit moron style.
Lin Murong: West leads the 9 to South’s 10 then ducks the 8, as East discards K-J. South leads the 2 to North’s 10 (East pitching a high heart) then a diamond is ruffed low by East and overruffed with the 3. South next leads a heart to the nine, as West discards his last diamond and East ducks. North then cashes four diamonds. The next diamond is ruffed low by East, overruffed and underruffed; then a spade is ruffed with the J, overruffed and underruffed 10; [and the process repeats once more] before losing the last trick to the A-K.
Fantasy puzzles are evidently more popular than I thought. Maybe that’s because fantasy is now a reality! A few years back the notion of a President Trump was like a Looney Tunes epic on Wily Coyote (and still is for that matter). But hey, it might be good for bridge! Just think: When he overthrows the Mexican government, we’ll have a “Trump coup.” Or when he runs away with his secretary, a “Trump elopement.” And best of all we may have an impeachment, aka “Trump reduction.”
Baptiste Couet: Easy slam, partner! Trumps broke five-four.
Charles Blair: My partners might say this kind of problem comes naturally to me.
Trust me, ‘might’ has no place in that sentence.
Jamie Pearson: Your example deal feels like another great puzzle: the highest contract that can be made against best defense one way and worst defense the other way.
Don’t give me ideas. I wish it were possible for seven of a suit but clearly not (trump ace ensures a trick) though 7 NT is easy.
© 2017 Richard Pavlicek
by Richard Pavlicek by Richard Pavlicek