Almost Bridge 7F66 by Richard Pavlicek
The North Pole Regional, once a glorious affair, has been dormant for several years for lack of a playing site. Local hotels steadfastly refused to host the event because of damage costs in the millions due to the uncontrollable reindeer antics. If the Arctic bridge rivalry would continue, the organizers could see only one solution: OKbridge!
The Planning Committee contacted Matthew Clegg, owner and founder of the famous online bridge club, to inquire about membership. Although skeptical at first, Clegg finally conceded, I suppose admitting a few reindeer wont matter; we already put up with those stupid GIB machines, so we shouldnt discriminate against other non-humans.
The next hurdle was setting up the hardware. Each computer required a special heavy-duty keyboard and a Microsoft HoofMouse (a floor-mounted input device), and monitor screens had to be tempered glass. The last condition arose out of painful experience, as standard monitors exploded from antler gougings.
Rudolph and Ronald were the first to test the new equipment. They connected to OKbridge and logged in as Rudolph3 and Ronald4. They were bewildered by all the lobby chat, but then noticed that someone had typed: Expert opps needed at Musher
Could it really be? There was only one way to find out so they joined the table. Sure enough: It was their Eskimo rivals Mush and Slush, slightly disguised by their login names. There also were over 100 spectators, but the North-South seats were vacant.
Oh geez, typed Musher. What idiot let you guys in here?
Cleggs the name I think, typed Rudolph3. Come on, lets play. Well go easy on you.
Before anyone could say no, Ronald popped into the North seat and Rudolph into South. The cards appeared instantly, and the bidding proceeded as in the diagram. Rudolph opened his better minor, and shortly found himself in slam. Spectators were impressed. Pretty good bidding for a couple of reindeer!
| A 4 3|
K J 10 9 8 4
A K 3
| Q 8 6 2|
J 10 8
10 8 6 5
| 10 9 7|
K Q 5 4 2
Q J 9
| K J 5|
A 9 7 6
A Q 7
7 4 2
Musher was not going to fall for the old unbid suit caper, so he led the J. The spectator chat was intense, debating whether the slam could be made, when all of a sudden Rudolph ducked the opening lead. Had this reindeer lost his mind? Did he even have a mind?
Musher knew something was fishy and shifted to a club, won by the king. Rudolph crossed to the A, ruffed a heart and led all the trumps to reach:
|win 5|| A 4 3|
| Q 8 6|
|North leads|| K J|
The spectators were still abuzz, and Rudolph made their jaws drop as he won the A and led a spade to the king, squeezing East out of a club. Then the A squeezed West in the black suits. Way to go, Rudolph! Now youll go down in OKhistory, too.
Curiously, the contract cannot be made if the A is won on the first trick. Try it. And Happy Holidays!
© 1999 Richard Pavlicek