Almost Bridge 7F41 Main

Here I Come To Make the Play!

by Richard Pavlicek

South’s bidding on this deal may seem brash, but it’s sensible. Once North opens the bidding and raises hearts, the combined point count must be in the slam zone. South is not worried about aces or the lack of any suit control, so why waste time? Jumping directly to slam is the practical solution.

North deals	A K Q		West	North	East	South
Both vul	Q J 10 9			1	Pass	1
	J 9 7		Pass	2	Pass	6
	J 10 8		Pass	Pass	Pass
J 10 9 8 7 6		5 3 2
8 7 4 3		2
4		Q 10 8 6 5
6 5		K Q 9 7
	4
	A K 6 5
Lead: J	A K 3 2
6 South	A 4 3 2

Alas; too bad. The wasted spade strength and the foul minor-suit layout made the slam impossible.
Even the best experts would go down at least one.

But look!
Across the room!
Faster than a speeding declarer!
More powerful than a strong two-bid!
Able to leap tall bridge clubs in a single bound!

Yes, it’s Master Mouse, with abilities far beyond those of mortal men. ‘Impossible’ contracts for others are mere exercises for the Mouse.

Dummy’s spade holding would be a pretty sight to most players, but to Master Mouse it was cheese. “High cards are just for mortals!” he exclaimed as he contemplated the play. “Kings and aces show pretty faces, but in order to squeeze you need cheese.” As soon as he won the Q, he drew everyone’s attention with his famous call, “Here I come to make the play!”

At trick two, Master Mouse led the A and ruffed it with the A. Crossing to dummy with a low trump, he next led the K and ruffed it with the K. “Elegance is the offspring of necessity,” he articulated, as the spectators’ jaws dropped. “Resources must be taken lightly, lest you become too dependent on high cards.” The crowd went wild!

Master Mouse next led a low club to the 10 and East’s queen, leaving East on lead in this position:

win 8	—		Trick	Lead	2nd	3rd	4th
	Q J 10		6. E	K	A	6	8
	J 9 7		7. S	6	4	Q	5
	J 8		8. N	J	6	2	7
10 9 8		—
8 7 4		—
4		Q 10 8 6 5
6		K 9 7
	—
	6
	A K 3 2
East leads	A 4 3

East was endplayed; any lead surrenders a trick. But wait! That’s only an 11th trick. The Mouse’s work was only half done. In an effort to block the club suit, East returned the K (nothing mattered) won by the ace. Master Mouse then led two more trumps to reach:

win 5	—		Trick	Lead	2nd	3rd	4th
	10		9. N	10	8	3	8
	J 9 7		10. N	9	10	A	4
	J		11. S	K	8	J	Q
10 9 8		—		Win the rest
8		—
4		Q 10 8
—		9 7
	—
	—
	A K 3
North leads	4 3

The last trump was led to squeeze East, who elected to pitch a diamond. Master Mouse also pitched a diamond and proceeded with style: 9 to the ace; K unblocking the jack; then a club to dummy to win the last trick with the diamond seven. “Meeska, mooska, mouseketeer! My work is done, and I’ve won a beer!”

The Mouse offered a valuable tip to make you a better player (or a complete lunatic):

If you have too many aces and kings, ruff them as fast as you can.

This amazing feat did not go unnoticed. Master Mouse was approached by Bill Gates, who hired him as a regular partner. For promotional advantage, Mr. Gates offered the Mouse a six-figure bonus to change his first name from ‘Master’ to ‘Microsoft’…

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Almost Bridge 7F41 Main

Top Here I Come To Make the Play!

© 1995 Richard Pavlicek